Build your resilience muscles

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I have noticed that successful inspiring people are not necessarily more talented or lucky than the rest of us, but they are often more resilient and optimistic.

When they encounter obstacles and setbacks that would see many of us give up, they continue to persevere and eventually triumph.

So how can we develop the mindset of these optimistic and resilient people?

Have realistic expectations
If you have an idea of how things will turn out- a fantasy in your head, perhaps with a short timeline and a perfect result  – you will feel discouraged when you hit the first obstacle, because it is not working out how it was “supposed” to.

Instead understand that failure obstacles/setbacks are part of life and happen to everybody.  Predict and plan for them, so you do not get derailed when they inevitably happen.

Have a flexible mindset 
Though it is great to have goals, if you are too attached to them happening in a specific way, it can make you feel frustrated when you hit obstacles.
But if you have a more flexible mindset then it’s not a disaster when you get off track. There’s no single track that you have to stay on, no set outcome you have to achieve.

Use obstacles as opportunities to grow
Resilience is the ability to get lemons and make lemonade.
Rather than see the hiccups and disappointments as frustrating detours, view them as part your journey. Use difficult times to learn about yourself /others /life, make meaningful changes or develop qualities and strengths.

So when you face challenges and obstacles get in the habit of asking yourself the following questions:
– How can I grow from this experience?
– What qualities of character am I being called to develop?
– What lessons can I learn from this mistake?
When you are less concerned about the happiness of achieving the outcome you can find happiness in the learning and process.

Keep it in perspective
When something disappointing happens we can get into a very negative place and believe “life sucks, I suck, the future sucks”. Don’t let this experience taint your whole world view.
Remind yourself of all that you still have going for you in your by asking yourself
What is going well in my life beyond this challenge?
What is going well within the difficult situation?
Who is being supportive and kind?

Focus on the solution not the problem
Don’t waste time or energy moaning to others about what went wrong, or rallying against the unfairness of it all. Get pragmatic and stay focused on what can be done to move forward and what can be changed. Embrace your mistakes and explore how they might be turned into something even better?

Trust the bigger picture
Stop judging what is happening as either good or bad. From your limited perspective you can never predict how things may turn out.

By remaining open you give space for things to work out even better than you could have imagined. Often something good comes out of something that initially appeared bad. Trust that life is unfolding perfectly.
Remember how you react to what happens is more important than what happens.

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